I spend a lot of time struggling with the linearity of others. They want to hit every point from A to Z. I go from V to L to A to U to Z and skip all the rest. What's more, as an INTP I inherently understand and like to build systems, but I find that if I have to live inside one of those systems I have created it strangles me. I rebel against the rigid walls I've built.
I know that my designs work and do what they are intended, but when it comes down to the moment I find that I will not conform to the system. The dichotomy of the situation lends itself to a host of ironic situations. Right now on my desk I have a guide for how to do projects, it covers every detail of project management that I have learned over the years. And yet, as I look at it and the projects in front of me I know that I am not likely to use the guide as I wrote it. I designed it for linear thinkers, not me.
Of course that makes sense, why would I design something for me when my entire life has been designing systems for other personality types? Unfortunately, now my career is changing (again) and I really do need these new systems for me.
The concept of kits seems to lend itself to this. Years ago I realized it was silly for me to have a "perfect" kit or toolbox for every job. That lent itself to massive amounts of duplication (do I need a hammer for carpentry and a separate one for picture hanging and a third for pounding stakes in the garden?). So I started to break my kits into broader categories that allowed some cross over. To add some humor to it I gave them silly names. Now I have a shelf of "pounders" in my workshop. When I need to pound something I can go to that shelf and select just the right hammer for the job at hand (or the right hammer for the thumb at job).
I'm wondering if the same needs to be true for how I work in the office. Maybe I am spending far too much time trying to build perfect kits for everything rather than putting my "tools" where they need to be in a general sense. I've been building entire guides for doing things rather than small crib sheets for how to do a small thing.
Something inside me seems worried about making absolutely sure my kits are complete, but as I think about it it is impossible to have a complete kit for projects without knowing every possible project that may come into my life. Instead, I can break my kits down to tasks that may be part of a project. If I need it then the tool is there, if not then it can be safely ignored for this project.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
The INTP and Work
Following my recent crash and burn I've been trying to sort through what happened, why it happened, and how I can improve. One of the key topics that I have hit on is how I have been viewing work. I'm still processing through this, but this discussion on The Refuge helped me start to clarify some of my thoughts. Last night I was responding to the thread and got on a roll about what works best for an INTP in the workplace. A lot of this seems to be me explaining to myself where I went off track...
I see work in two ways. One is a way for me to pay my bills. For that, one job is just as good as the next if the dollars add up. Any extra dollars above what I need to pay my bills is frankly a waste of time. I don't love money or having fancy things so pay is just about keeping the bill collectors off my phone.
The other way I see work (if I am being clear-headed) is as a way for me to challenge myself, to create, to solve problems, and generally do what I want to do. Sure, my employer has a job description for me and expectations and all that, however what I really work for is my secret agenda and I use their money to do it. Now I'm not talking about stealing from them. What I mean is that I see it as an old fashioned bargain. They want something (labor to make them money by doing certain tasks) and I want something (to do what I like to do). We strike a bargain - they pay me and I do the work they need done. However, the reason I work is for me, not for them and not for money. I want to be intellectually challenged. I want to solve hard problems. I want to create order out of disorder. I want to learn new things. I want to be creative. I want to make discoveries. I want to be an INTP. So I work for me, not for them. I sell them some of the fruit of my labor, but the rest of it is for my pleasure. They know this and they're happy to get what they get.
I think of it like a young man in a small farming town. What if he's forced to become a farmer but what he truly loves is being a mechanical engineer? He might be forced to be a sod buster due to economics and education, but guess what he's going to end up doing? If he's on the ball and does what he wants then he ends up making a better tractor or designing a better thresher. He knows he has to sell vegetables to pay the bills, but what he really works at is what he wants and loves to do. Soon he designs a way of sorting vegetables, so he doesn't have to do that tedious job anymore, which will let him spend more time designing machinery and improving things. Then he goes to his next challenge. Sure his customers still think of him as a farmer and still expect him to produce vegetables. He does that and they pay him for it (and he pays those stinking bill collectors), but what they think and expect doesn't define what he is, what he wants, and ultimately what he does. He is a mechanical engineer.
I once read a psychologist who talked about going into a factory. It was a dreary environment - one of those places where workers are little more than machines with slightly more dexterity and a lot less job security. It was a mind numbing environment that epitomized the industrial revolution. Well, there was one guy there who was one of the happiest people the psychologist had ever seen. He got to work a bit early every day, set out his tools just so, and eagerly waited for the whistle and the first bucket of parts to arrive. His job was to put parts together in a certain way to make a product. He would make the same product day after day. When that whistle blew and the parts hit his bench he smiled happily and charged into his work. At the end of the shift he would carefully clean his workbench, put his tools away and walk out of the plant whistling while everyone else was dragging. How in the world could the guy be happy? The psychologist spoke to the foreman and asked about the man. Was he a slacker? Is that why he was happy? Was he a new guy? Was he a moron? Was he wealthy and just did this to feel like one of the people? The foreman responded that no, the guy wasn't a layabout, had been with the company for years, and he wasn't wealthy. In fact he was the top performer and constantly produced more than anyone else. So the psychologist went and spoke to the man to find out what the deal was. He found that the guy had designed his job into a personal agenda. He knew that he was stuck in that factory since it was the only game in town, but he was a guy who was competitive and loved challenging himself. So he started seeing how many pieces he could make in a shift. Eventually he realized that he couldn't improve his count unless he reduced his number of motions, set all the pieces in a particular way, kept all the tools in exactly the right spot, and stayed perfectly focused on what he was doing. Day after day he challenged himself to do better in that mundane job and refined his work, his tools, and his environment. Everyone else around him was miserable (including the foreman) but this guy had found a way to do what he wanted and he was happy. It wasn't a job anymore.
That's why I asked you what it is you want. I don't like going to a job either. It's pointless except for paying the power bill. However, if I can go do what I want to do and strike a bargain with someone else to get them to pay for it then it's not pointless anymore and it's not a job. It becomes an enjoyable activity for me even though once in a while I may have to drag my cart of vegetables to the market. If I set up my job that way then I don't have to be significant to the world, I don't have to be a rising star, I don't have to even like the people around me. It doesn't matter, because I am doing what I want to do. It just takes some thought to realize what that is and a little creativity to figure out a way to do what I want in the framework of my situation. I have to reassess every once in a while since things change, but the overriding question that I have to keep coming back to is simple - what is it I really enjoy and want to do and how can I do it right now?
I see work in two ways. One is a way for me to pay my bills. For that, one job is just as good as the next if the dollars add up. Any extra dollars above what I need to pay my bills is frankly a waste of time. I don't love money or having fancy things so pay is just about keeping the bill collectors off my phone.
The other way I see work (if I am being clear-headed) is as a way for me to challenge myself, to create, to solve problems, and generally do what I want to do. Sure, my employer has a job description for me and expectations and all that, however what I really work for is my secret agenda and I use their money to do it. Now I'm not talking about stealing from them. What I mean is that I see it as an old fashioned bargain. They want something (labor to make them money by doing certain tasks) and I want something (to do what I like to do). We strike a bargain - they pay me and I do the work they need done. However, the reason I work is for me, not for them and not for money. I want to be intellectually challenged. I want to solve hard problems. I want to create order out of disorder. I want to learn new things. I want to be creative. I want to make discoveries. I want to be an INTP. So I work for me, not for them. I sell them some of the fruit of my labor, but the rest of it is for my pleasure. They know this and they're happy to get what they get.
I think of it like a young man in a small farming town. What if he's forced to become a farmer but what he truly loves is being a mechanical engineer? He might be forced to be a sod buster due to economics and education, but guess what he's going to end up doing? If he's on the ball and does what he wants then he ends up making a better tractor or designing a better thresher. He knows he has to sell vegetables to pay the bills, but what he really works at is what he wants and loves to do. Soon he designs a way of sorting vegetables, so he doesn't have to do that tedious job anymore, which will let him spend more time designing machinery and improving things. Then he goes to his next challenge. Sure his customers still think of him as a farmer and still expect him to produce vegetables. He does that and they pay him for it (and he pays those stinking bill collectors), but what they think and expect doesn't define what he is, what he wants, and ultimately what he does. He is a mechanical engineer.
I once read a psychologist who talked about going into a factory. It was a dreary environment - one of those places where workers are little more than machines with slightly more dexterity and a lot less job security. It was a mind numbing environment that epitomized the industrial revolution. Well, there was one guy there who was one of the happiest people the psychologist had ever seen. He got to work a bit early every day, set out his tools just so, and eagerly waited for the whistle and the first bucket of parts to arrive. His job was to put parts together in a certain way to make a product. He would make the same product day after day. When that whistle blew and the parts hit his bench he smiled happily and charged into his work. At the end of the shift he would carefully clean his workbench, put his tools away and walk out of the plant whistling while everyone else was dragging. How in the world could the guy be happy? The psychologist spoke to the foreman and asked about the man. Was he a slacker? Is that why he was happy? Was he a new guy? Was he a moron? Was he wealthy and just did this to feel like one of the people? The foreman responded that no, the guy wasn't a layabout, had been with the company for years, and he wasn't wealthy. In fact he was the top performer and constantly produced more than anyone else. So the psychologist went and spoke to the man to find out what the deal was. He found that the guy had designed his job into a personal agenda. He knew that he was stuck in that factory since it was the only game in town, but he was a guy who was competitive and loved challenging himself. So he started seeing how many pieces he could make in a shift. Eventually he realized that he couldn't improve his count unless he reduced his number of motions, set all the pieces in a particular way, kept all the tools in exactly the right spot, and stayed perfectly focused on what he was doing. Day after day he challenged himself to do better in that mundane job and refined his work, his tools, and his environment. Everyone else around him was miserable (including the foreman) but this guy had found a way to do what he wanted and he was happy. It wasn't a job anymore.
That's why I asked you what it is you want. I don't like going to a job either. It's pointless except for paying the power bill. However, if I can go do what I want to do and strike a bargain with someone else to get them to pay for it then it's not pointless anymore and it's not a job. It becomes an enjoyable activity for me even though once in a while I may have to drag my cart of vegetables to the market. If I set up my job that way then I don't have to be significant to the world, I don't have to be a rising star, I don't have to even like the people around me. It doesn't matter, because I am doing what I want to do. It just takes some thought to realize what that is and a little creativity to figure out a way to do what I want in the framework of my situation. I have to reassess every once in a while since things change, but the overriding question that I have to keep coming back to is simple - what is it I really enjoy and want to do and how can I do it right now?
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Discreet sets of information
A number of years ago I fell in love with the idea of the notebook. It had taken me a long time to understand exactly what a good notebook was, but once I got it I found it to be one of the most useful tools in my arsenal in life.
To make a long story short, when I was a boy I noticed my father and grandfather using notebooks in the electrical engineering field. They had these magical little books that they wrote in and checked constantly and it seemed to my young eyes that everything about their jobs could be answered in those little black notebooks. In fact, I was not the only person who thought this. Others would often ask to look inside my Dad's notebook to write down a formula or check a fact. Dad was always generous and allowed them to look, but that notebook was never to leave his side.
Years later I was working on a project that required me to learn an entire skill set in a very short amount of time regarding a manufacturing process. I simply could not remember everything and just started writing the most important facts in a notebook so that I wouldn't have to look them up again. After a year or so of this I had a notebook very similar to what my dad and grandfather had had. People asked to see it. A couple people, only half-jokingly, said they wanted to steal it.
I've been fascinated with the idea of notebooks ever since. Partly because I have failed to repeat my first success. Each subsequent notebook I started just became a mishmash of random information. Something wasn't right and I couldn't figure out what it was. However, I think I'm starting to get it.
First of all, the notebook is not the goal - it's simply a tool. If I spend all my time trying to make the notebook into the goal then I quickly lose interest. However, if it's a tool where I crank out the information I can't or don't want to keep in my head then it quickly becomes valuable. Part of the reason that first notebook worked so well was because I was under intense pressure. I didn't have time to think about the notebook, I was too busy learning the job.
Second, the notebook worked best when each page was a discreet set of information. I was building miniature "cheat sheets" in my notebook and over time it became the fastest way to find the information that I needed for that particular discipline. Even now, almost a decade later, I can open that notebook and find exactly the information I need. Sure, some if is outdated, but most of it is not and it is still one of my most valuable reference books.
As an INTP I love information, but I want it quickly, cleanly, and intuitively. I've begun using notebooks again and loose documents kept together in a folder as a type of folio. The most important part of this process though is to create a single-sheet design for each type of information that is uniquely suited to convey the information that I need as quickly as possible.
Whether the format is a notebook or a folio, I find that the art aspect of creating such a document appeals to me greatly and keeps me focused on what I am doing. Even mundane tasks can present me with a great deal of pleasure if somehow they are tied to one of my notebooks.
One final tip, the more "secret" my notebooks are and the longer I can keep them like that the more likely I am to be successful at developing them. If I tell other people about it or they find out then it's almost as if someone has taken a look behind the curtain - there's no reason to continue.
My notebooks are part of my secret world as an INTP. They are for me and for me alone. However, they are not the goal, they are the most beautiful and useful tools I have to achieve those things that I work so hard to do. They are the place where I deconstruct, synthesize, analyze, and convey the knowledge that I have learned.
To make a long story short, when I was a boy I noticed my father and grandfather using notebooks in the electrical engineering field. They had these magical little books that they wrote in and checked constantly and it seemed to my young eyes that everything about their jobs could be answered in those little black notebooks. In fact, I was not the only person who thought this. Others would often ask to look inside my Dad's notebook to write down a formula or check a fact. Dad was always generous and allowed them to look, but that notebook was never to leave his side.
Years later I was working on a project that required me to learn an entire skill set in a very short amount of time regarding a manufacturing process. I simply could not remember everything and just started writing the most important facts in a notebook so that I wouldn't have to look them up again. After a year or so of this I had a notebook very similar to what my dad and grandfather had had. People asked to see it. A couple people, only half-jokingly, said they wanted to steal it.
I've been fascinated with the idea of notebooks ever since. Partly because I have failed to repeat my first success. Each subsequent notebook I started just became a mishmash of random information. Something wasn't right and I couldn't figure out what it was. However, I think I'm starting to get it.
First of all, the notebook is not the goal - it's simply a tool. If I spend all my time trying to make the notebook into the goal then I quickly lose interest. However, if it's a tool where I crank out the information I can't or don't want to keep in my head then it quickly becomes valuable. Part of the reason that first notebook worked so well was because I was under intense pressure. I didn't have time to think about the notebook, I was too busy learning the job.
Second, the notebook worked best when each page was a discreet set of information. I was building miniature "cheat sheets" in my notebook and over time it became the fastest way to find the information that I needed for that particular discipline. Even now, almost a decade later, I can open that notebook and find exactly the information I need. Sure, some if is outdated, but most of it is not and it is still one of my most valuable reference books.
As an INTP I love information, but I want it quickly, cleanly, and intuitively. I've begun using notebooks again and loose documents kept together in a folder as a type of folio. The most important part of this process though is to create a single-sheet design for each type of information that is uniquely suited to convey the information that I need as quickly as possible.
Whether the format is a notebook or a folio, I find that the art aspect of creating such a document appeals to me greatly and keeps me focused on what I am doing. Even mundane tasks can present me with a great deal of pleasure if somehow they are tied to one of my notebooks.
One final tip, the more "secret" my notebooks are and the longer I can keep them like that the more likely I am to be successful at developing them. If I tell other people about it or they find out then it's almost as if someone has taken a look behind the curtain - there's no reason to continue.
My notebooks are part of my secret world as an INTP. They are for me and for me alone. However, they are not the goal, they are the most beautiful and useful tools I have to achieve those things that I work so hard to do. They are the place where I deconstruct, synthesize, analyze, and convey the knowledge that I have learned.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Tuesday
This was a three-day holiday weekend (Memorial Day), but I worked all three days. On Saturday I worked the majority of the day, on Sunday I taught my Sunday school class, Monday I worked half of the day. None of that really matters.
What does matter is that I finally seem to have broken out of being stuck. I really hit the breaking point when I realized that I need to simply work the way that my wants to work. I can't fight what I am. I finally stepped back and made a simple set of rules to follow when doing anything. These rules seem to be universal, but more testing will be required:
What does matter is that I finally seem to have broken out of being stuck. I really hit the breaking point when I realized that I need to simply work the way that my wants to work. I can't fight what I am. I finally stepped back and made a simple set of rules to follow when doing anything. These rules seem to be universal, but more testing will be required:
- Treat each day and situation like taking a day trip, or going to an event. Other things will have to be set aside so that I can focus on what is in front of me.
- Take care of today's "annoying" items and get them completely out of the way.
- Make a list of everything else on my mind that will need to be dealt with later.
- Get myself mentally ready to do what needs to be done. This may mean taking a break or stepping out for a while so that I can start making the mental shift and eliminate any latent emotions.
- Clean the area of anything not involved with the upcoming task or project. Set it all aside, file it, shove it into a cupboard, whatever. Just get it out of visual range.
- Set up the environment for close focus work.
- Get my "kit" of items needed for this project.
- Remove any remaining distractions such as noises, smells, etc.
- Limit potential disturbances as much as possible (phones, etc.)
- Play the right kind of music for the task that I'm about to do.
- Do the job in a way that it requires mindful physicality. There has to be a physical act related to what I'm doing that requires some focus on how I am doing as much as what I am doing. This may simply mean writing my notes in the most beautiful penmanship that I can.
- Art must be in the work. It cannot simply be a task. There needs to be some kind of art or excellence tied to it.
- There must be an internal goal that is the target. It is not known to anyone else, but it is what I want. Moreover, I aim at this target without aiming. I focus on the mechanics while the back of my mind remembers the target.
- Get "close" to the task. Give myself tunnel vision. Set apps to full-screen. Get closer to the white board. Get closer to the document. Whatever it takes to focus on the "sites" not on the "target".
As I started to put this into play I found flow in each of my tasks. Each step was critical to my success.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Anxiety and mindfulness
I was reading a series of posts about dealing with stress today at the Refuge and hit on something that I think is important not only for dealing with stress but also for doing tasks and progressing with projects. Here's the whole post. NRJC had just suggested that exercise is a great way to deal with stress. I completely agree, but I began to dig a bit deeper...
I think NRJC is right, but in a way different than just physiology (and I completely agree about the secondary physical/psychological effects of exercise). Unfortunately, I have a hard time getting myself to exercise because I treat it as a task to be completed. On the other hand, there is something to some exercises that can be very calming for me. In fact there's an analogous situation that has a lot of similar attributes that I find comforting. Let me see if I can put it together.
The analog is driving a car on a long trip. Out where I live it's not uncommon to drive on freeways or highways for a couple hundred miles (typically four or five hours of driving). If I take that trip alone and I do it right I find at the end of the road that I am extremely calm, relaxed, and focussed. I'm "centered". I hadn't really put that together with exercise until this morning when I started dealing with my own minor panic attack.
I think of a panic attack for me like a thinking storm. It slowly builds and the dark clouds start to come in from the horizon, but before I know it my mind is racing and filled with thousands of thoughts that I simply cannot control. External pressures of the expectations of others are like a storm surge making it even worse. I soon feel overwhelmed and that fight or flight instinct starts to kick in hard. When I was teenager (or a teenanger) I put holes in a few walls, found myself screaming at the empty house, and raging internally. It got so bad that at times I dropped out of the world for days on end. Nobody knew what was going on or how to help me. Like NRJC I am very aware of how dangerous this emotion can be in myself. My temper is something to behold and I keep a very tight rein on it.
I am still struggling with my storms, but at least now I'm gathering some intel that seems to be helping. So here goes...
First, I have to make up my mind that right now I am going to deal with my mental health. I have to recognize that I'm in the midst of a thinking storm and that I need to deal with it. Everything else is of secondary importance because if I don't handle it soon I am going to be useless to the world.
Second, what seems to be the most important is to engage myself at multiple levels all at the same time. This is where I see the relationship between me driving long distances and the right kind of exercise. Here's the ideal situation I have found so far:
I used to be a martial artist (I have since had an injury that makes it nearly impossible to continue) and I found that katas helped too. Katas are a series of complex motions intended to teach proper technique and to string different techniques together. They can also be used while visualizing attackers. What I found was that a sufficiently complex kata would cause me to fall into that state of flow. I had memorized it and so I didn't have to think about what to do. However, it was still complex enough that I had to be mindful to keep it moving properly. By visualizing the attackers I was adding another layer of thinking for my mind to go through. Proper breathing added another layer. If I was alone with music playing I could repeat it over and over and end up feeling deeply calm afterward. It strikes me that Tai Chi and Yoga can do the same thing although I always found them a bit too slow to fully engage my mind properly.
Another place I can find this is in marksmanship. I like to shoot small bore rifle and pistol and also air rifles and pistols. These disciplines require the same things: exclusion of outside interruption, general focus on multiple variables simultaneously (safety, breathing, trigger control, body position, environmental conditions, etc.), and a challenge that requires focus but not being overwhelmed by any one single item. It's enveloping and I can spend hours at the range carefully firing at targets. Of course in that environment I avoid the music, but wearing the earmuffs gives me a sense of isolation. Afterward I am completely relaxed and centered again. I have done a little work with a bow and arrow and it's a similar experience.
Hmm....now that I think about it, that's really the state that I want to be in when I am doing anything. I wonder if these "rules" aren't applicable in other situations as well. For some reason my mind just jumped to the image of a Japanese tea ceremony and to writing Chinese calligraphy.
I think NRJC is right, but in a way different than just physiology (and I completely agree about the secondary physical/psychological effects of exercise). Unfortunately, I have a hard time getting myself to exercise because I treat it as a task to be completed. On the other hand, there is something to some exercises that can be very calming for me. In fact there's an analogous situation that has a lot of similar attributes that I find comforting. Let me see if I can put it together.
The analog is driving a car on a long trip. Out where I live it's not uncommon to drive on freeways or highways for a couple hundred miles (typically four or five hours of driving). If I take that trip alone and I do it right I find at the end of the road that I am extremely calm, relaxed, and focussed. I'm "centered". I hadn't really put that together with exercise until this morning when I started dealing with my own minor panic attack.
I think of a panic attack for me like a thinking storm. It slowly builds and the dark clouds start to come in from the horizon, but before I know it my mind is racing and filled with thousands of thoughts that I simply cannot control. External pressures of the expectations of others are like a storm surge making it even worse. I soon feel overwhelmed and that fight or flight instinct starts to kick in hard. When I was teenager (or a teenanger) I put holes in a few walls, found myself screaming at the empty house, and raging internally. It got so bad that at times I dropped out of the world for days on end. Nobody knew what was going on or how to help me. Like NRJC I am very aware of how dangerous this emotion can be in myself. My temper is something to behold and I keep a very tight rein on it.
I am still struggling with my storms, but at least now I'm gathering some intel that seems to be helping. So here goes...
First, I have to make up my mind that right now I am going to deal with my mental health. I have to recognize that I'm in the midst of a thinking storm and that I need to deal with it. Everything else is of secondary importance because if I don't handle it soon I am going to be useless to the world.
Second, what seems to be the most important is to engage myself at multiple levels all at the same time. This is where I see the relationship between me driving long distances and the right kind of exercise. Here's the ideal situation I have found so far:
- Be alone. I need to be apart. If I am with others then I have a wall up or I'm playing chameleon to their personality.
- Not only do I have to be alone, but I also have to know that I am not going to be disturbed. When I drive I silence my cell phone. If I exercise I tend to go somewhere where other people will simply not be or where I don't know anyone. The key is that no part of my life can intrude new information during this time period. It's mine alone.
- Have stimulating music playing. I love a lot of different kinds of music, but for this I really need complex classical music. I need the complexity of the music to give my brain something to jump around inside of and not become bored by. For a while I find myself listening to the cello and the brilliant complexity and skill there. Then I am listening to the violin. Then the flute. Then the kettles. Then a horn. Then I race back to catch the cello again. My mind is constantly carried along. The very best music will invoke mental images unbiden that give me all the more to pay attention to. I have found some blues and jazz does this too.
- There must be mindful physicality. In the car it's the constant adjustments to keep the car on the road, the speed changes to handle the flow of traffic, and the situational awareness of all that's happening. If it's exercise then it has to be a low-to-moderate aerobic exercise (walking a bit faster than usual, etc.) that does not require a great deal of thought and should not be overly exerting where it's unpleasant. Instead, it should be an almost subliminal, but effortful physical motion that tells my mind "Pay attention to this. Keep doing it carefully. Make an adjustment here. Make an adjustment there." Exercises like weight lifting, intense aerobics, etc. are not good enough for giving me that sense of flow I need.
- Controlled breathing can be another way of giving the mind something else to think about.
I used to be a martial artist (I have since had an injury that makes it nearly impossible to continue) and I found that katas helped too. Katas are a series of complex motions intended to teach proper technique and to string different techniques together. They can also be used while visualizing attackers. What I found was that a sufficiently complex kata would cause me to fall into that state of flow. I had memorized it and so I didn't have to think about what to do. However, it was still complex enough that I had to be mindful to keep it moving properly. By visualizing the attackers I was adding another layer of thinking for my mind to go through. Proper breathing added another layer. If I was alone with music playing I could repeat it over and over and end up feeling deeply calm afterward. It strikes me that Tai Chi and Yoga can do the same thing although I always found them a bit too slow to fully engage my mind properly.
Another place I can find this is in marksmanship. I like to shoot small bore rifle and pistol and also air rifles and pistols. These disciplines require the same things: exclusion of outside interruption, general focus on multiple variables simultaneously (safety, breathing, trigger control, body position, environmental conditions, etc.), and a challenge that requires focus but not being overwhelmed by any one single item. It's enveloping and I can spend hours at the range carefully firing at targets. Of course in that environment I avoid the music, but wearing the earmuffs gives me a sense of isolation. Afterward I am completely relaxed and centered again. I have done a little work with a bow and arrow and it's a similar experience.
Hmm....now that I think about it, that's really the state that I want to be in when I am doing anything. I wonder if these "rules" aren't applicable in other situations as well. For some reason my mind just jumped to the image of a Japanese tea ceremony and to writing Chinese calligraphy.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
My workload
That guy looks like me, except his office appears to have more natural light than mine. :-(
I'm stuck again. I have a pile of work to do and just can't seem to break through to productivity again. Why why why? Well, the title of the blog is...
- Sleep. Yeah, it hasn't been so good lately. Not because I can't sleep but because I just haven't slept much lately. I could if I'd just give up and crash, but when I'm stressed I need a few hours before I go to sleep to "process". When I'm really stressed I feel like I need all night.
- I have no idea what to do next. This is a real pain. The next action should be the right next action and it's all really vague at the moment.
- Seriously, that picture looks like me. I have a backlog of work that would make your eyes bleed if you could see it. There are so many things that are undone in my personal and professional life right now that it's kind of frightening.
- It's not like I haven't been doing anything, it's more that I haven't been doing a lot of things that are useful in the long-term.
#2 is probably the one on my mind the most right now. I've had some real breakthroughs in my work lately, but they only have gotten me so far. The next step has to be taken and I just don't have that great of an idea of what to do next.
Now that I think about it, probably the right answer is to get all the information in front of me and just look at it to let my mind start analyzing it in that mysterious way that it does. I think I'll pull everything out and start tacking it to my white board so I can see relationships and flow. Maybe that will give me some idea of how to move forward...I hope.
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