Broken people

For a long time I tried to fix the people around me, but I finally realized that all people are essentially "broken" and because of that they are often afraid, frustrated, selfish, angry, and hurting - just like me. What people need more than to be "helped" is compassion, patience and kindness.

One thing I think INTPs short-change themselves on is their compassion. Because we can enter into the mind of the other person we can be very empathic and feel their hurt, sadness, frustration, and everything else. Our natural instinct is to either run away or "fix" the problem as if it were actually our problem. But it isn't, we can't fix it and we care too much to run away.

I guess in some ways it's like being a faithful golden retriever. Imagine the picture of a sad little boy sitting under a tree. The dog quietly comes up, sits close, gently puts his head on the boy's lap, and shares in the emotion. It's almost as if he begins to weep and mourn with the child. Occasionally he licks a hand, but he knows all he can do is be part of the experience with the one he loves. There's no judgment, no attempt to fix the problem, no desire to be somewhere else, just a gentle kindness and steady devotion.

Seek to understand and care, but don't try to repair.